When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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