I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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