I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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