hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
