I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
