did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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