I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
