I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
