just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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