You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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