there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i think i have two assholes
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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