i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This beer is not sobering me up at all
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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