My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
