just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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