Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize