Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
