I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
