Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
