They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize