Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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