Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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