i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
