i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like