My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way