I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark