So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.