I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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