I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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