Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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