Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
