covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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