I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize