don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
