You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I am midnight drunk by noon
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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