She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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