I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
