Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
