i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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