YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
