He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
