Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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