I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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