dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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