I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
