No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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