Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
