Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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