Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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