I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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