NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize