Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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