I cockslap morals
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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