are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
