i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
