i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again