I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just found a bag of teeth...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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