toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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