apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize