she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
