am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
