He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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