does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
