so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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