Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
